The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

I’ve been reading the The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe to my kids. C.S. Lewis was an absolute genius when it comes to taking complex theological ideas and boiling them down to something a child could understand, and at the same time would sound refreshing and encouraging to someone who has believed for a while. A couple of conversations in the book stand out to me… 
Chapter: A Day With The Beavers
    Mr. Beaver makes a statement introducing for the first time to our ears the name of him who will become the main character of the series (that is… if you start with this book instead of the Magicians Nephew… I actually prefer to start with the Magicians Nephew, but I found that The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe captured my kids attention more quickly…. anywho… ) “They say Aslan is on the move – perhaps has already landed”
   Then we get the kids reactions… “At the name of Aslan each one of the children felt something jump in its inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer.

Chapter: What Happened After Dinner
    “Oh, yes! Tell us about Aslan!” said several voices at once…
    “Who is Aslan?” asked Susan.
    “Aslan?” said Mr. Beaver. “Why don’t you know? He’s the King. He’s the Lord of the whole wood, but not often here, you understand. (further down in the conversation…)
    “Is… Is he a man?” asked Lucy.
    “Aslan a man!” said Mr. Beaver sternly. “Certainly not. I tell you he is the King of the wood and the son of the great Emperor-beyond-the-Sea. Don’t you know who is the King of Beasts? Aslan is a lion – the Lion, the great Lion.” (a little further down…)
    “Then he isn’t safe?” said Lucy.
    “Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? Of course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.
    “I’m longing to see him, ” said Peter, “even if I do feel frightened when it comes to the point.”
Chapter: Deep Magic From The Dawn Of Time
    Aslan is basically standing between the White Witch and Edmund, and she is staking her claim on him due to his treachery. “Yo know that every traitor belongs to me as my lawful prey and that for every treachery I have the right to kill.”, states the witch… “And so, that human creature is mine. His life is forfeit to me. His blood is my property.”
    The great accuser this white witch is calling Aslan out on the “Deep Magic” from before time that says she is owed Edmund’s life and her right is to kill him. The part that I love is where the camera shoots over to Edmund to get his whole reaction to this…

    “Edmund was on the other side of Aslan, looking all the time at Aslan’s face. He felt a choking feeling and wondered if he ought to say something; but a moment later he felt that he was not expected to do anything except to wait, and do what he was told.” In the face of the great accuser, Edmund is at peace and waits upon his savior Aslan to answer the accusations of the White Witch. Aslan stands between, and shortly thereafter works out the deal with the witch where he will forfeit his own life, for that of Edmund.


There are really more parts than I could list here. So many amazing parallels to the story of Christ and his sacrifice for us and ultimate victory. This story begs to be read once a year. It’s not just a kids story. It’s for everyone. In my opinion it enhances the gospel story and enriches it much like a great poem, or song lyric can occasionally do for me. The line that Peter gave in the chapter entitled “What Happened After Dinner”, the one I wrote out above, leveled me emotionally, even while reading it to my kids… “I’m longing to see him, ” said Peter, “even if I do feel frightened when it comes to the point.” What an amazing statement that completely captures the wonder, fear, and longing of all humanity and their ultimate purpose, delight, and fulfillment in Christ…

Tension

I struggle with writing. I use to love to write. Lately I feel like I want to write badly, but when it actually comes to sitting down and doing it, I’m defeated before I start.

There is so much going on in my head lately that I feel weathered and worn from trying to battle it constantly. I can’t keep the noise out. The still small voice that is in the mix somewhere is being over powered. I’ve tried to cut out all that doesn’t need to be there. When I did that I just found myself to be restless. I can’t stop thinking that I should be doing something. I don’t know what that something is. It’s driving me nuts. I don’t mean that in the figurative “oh I’m going to go nuts” type way… I mean it’s actually driving me nuts. Cuckoo… Bonkers…

I need to hear that still small voice more than anything else, but right now it seems that He caught laryngitis from trying to scream over all the noise. Now that I’ve gotten it quiet… He’s tired of trying. And so, comes screaming back, my inside voice… “Do this… Do that… you should be reading more… exercising more… eating better… writing more… serving more… doing more, doing more, doing more, doing… busy busy busy”

There’s all the external voices as well telling me how I should live. The voices that say sell everything, give it to the poor, and go serve somewhere. The voices that say write your music and devote yourself to it. Make a living doing what you love. Start charging money, start touring, start (fill in the space)… Do something… The voices that say “relax.. just be patient”… Then the voices that make me feel guilty for trying to be patient, as though I’m not moving fast enough… I’m not doing enough… I’m not good enough…

All the while, my wife needs me home. My kids need their dad. My family needs a leader. My employer needs a devoted employee. My friends need a friend. Others need a comforter, or a counselor, or somebody to pray with them or for them. I’m responsible to so many people in so many ways… I feel like I walk a tight rope of failure and the audience is expecting me to fall at any moment…

I find tension, stress, and frustration to be the trademarks of my early 30’s thus far. I’m in this weird in-between stage of life where my main responsibility is to be a good father to the 4 kids I’ve helped bring into this world, and a good husband to the wife who’s joined me on the trip. Everything in my life is fantastic… and at the same time, I’ve never felt more frustrated.

I was able to rid myself of the TV, which is pretty cool, until I realize I’ve got multiple hours to sit and think. When I think, I realize how broken I am. My mind churns over it. Then my mind churns over how broken it is.

I talk to myself. A lot. Over the past year or two I’ve lost a lot of time with my closest friends and now I find that to compensate I talk to myself. Like I said… bonkers…

I feel lonely… While surrounded by people constantly.

I am asking God lately to give me some clarity. Some direction. Some peace, joy, sanity… whatever… Just give me a sign… Something beautiful to inspire me… Something to sway my heart and move me… Just a little of His presence and Spirit to fill the space I’ve tried to create.

Occasionally, He is happy to oblige and I get to experience that fleeting moment of whatever it was that I needed the very most at that very moment. He gives me just enough so that I don’t snap and end up in a mental institute… Thank you Lord for keeping me sane…

I look around at the world, and I realize how amazing my life is. I’m not starving. I’m not homeless. I have a job, cars, clothes, food on the table. I make more money in a year than most of the world dreams of seeing in a lifetime… My kids are healthy, my wife is beautiful, my life is great. Yet, there is this insatiable desire for more. I don’t want more stuff. I don’t want to sit and let my brain rot on facebook, twitter, or television… I don’t want more accomplishments…

I want more of Him. I want more of God. I’m asking Him to make me who He wants me to be. Use me in whatever way He needs to use me. He’s telling me to be patient… and I want to scream… The tension… The tension is about to break me. Maybe it’s what He wants. Maybe He wants to break me so that I’m of some use that I can’t possibly see right now.

Maybe I’m just talking to myself again. Maybe He’s doing something.

God I hope so. I need to see something beautiful Lord.