There’s so much to be thankful for
And so much to be forgotten
There’s no perfect secret
To the things that bring us joy
Ha ha! to the old year
Goodbye to the cold fear
Gonna cry when I need it, smile when I need it
– “The Old Year (of Denial)” by Eric Peters
Two-thousand fifteen has come to an end and I am grateful. Grateful not because the year was rough, but rather because this really was a great year with the exception of my car breaking down and costing me way more money then I ever want to spend on a car repair again.
My wife and I got two new daughters this year. They have their challenges, but they are a blessing none the less and we know that God is working through this whole situation to change all of us. Occasionally I am convicted that they receive less attention and affection than my biological children. This year I’m hoping to be a better father to these girls who need that desperately.
My oldest son turned 13. It is strange to watch him grow up. What really blows me away is to think about how fast these 13 years went by and that in another 13 years he could be married with kids and a life all of his own. I’m not scared of growing old, but it does put an ache in my chest to watch my kids grow older and realize time is moving quickly. The time I have with him is precious and he is a blessing to me. This year he gained so much personality and I see little glimpses of who is going to be. I hope to help him more on that track this year.
This past year I’ve begun to see the cynic in me loosen his grip just a little. The darkness that seems to have shrouded my heart for a while now seems to be breaking up at least a little. The negative emotions that have bogged me down for a while are losing ground. Little by little hope is moving back into my heart. Grace and mercy have come to have renewed meaning, and have laid responsibility on my back to be a better human being. This year I’m praying for more grace, more mercy, more love for my fellow man, and a deeper walk with my God.
There’s a ton of stuff I could talk about, but I’ll leave it with this. May your new year be blessed. May the love of our Father God invade you (and me) and bring us closer to Him as we also draw closer together.